totalled

totalled

this will probably be one of the two hundred posts that come out as a result of the edge retreat this year, but i don’t care. i’ll write it anyway. this weekend, i think the only way to explain the experience was that i was in a crash. a high-impact collision with Him. through a weekend of messages, stories of rejuvenation, heartbreak and trials, all of my pains were brought to the surface and they were wiped clean. one of the counselors during women’s time shared this verse:

“When I passed by you ad saw you squirming in your blood, I said to you while you were in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you while you were in your blood, ‘Live!’ I made you numerous like plants of the field. Then you grew up, became tall and reached the age for fine ornaments; your breasts were formed and your hair had grown. Yet you were naked and bare.

Then I passed by you and saw you, and behold, you were at the time for love; so I spread My skirt over you and covered your nakedness. I also swore to you and entered into a covenant with you so that you became Mine.” declares the Lord God. “Then I bathed you with water, washed off your blood from you and anointed you with oil. I also clothed you with embroidered cloth and put sandals of porpoise skin on your feet; and I wrapped you with fine linens and covered you with silk. I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets o your hands and a necklace around your neck. I also put a ring in your nostril, earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. This you were adorned with gold and silver, and your dress was of fine linen, silk and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour, honey and oil; so you were exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty. Then your fame went forth among the nations on account of your beauty, for it was perfect because of My splendor which I bestowed on you,” declares the Lord God.

And this is the truth. I was picked up out of my own despair and blood and made a royalty. I was made a princess because of the love that God has for me, and my brothers and sisters.

I crashed into the Lord this weekend, and He changed me. I choose His love, and I will continue to choose the truth. I don’t deny that it will be difficult, but if His love can raise me up out of my blood, then I trust that things will change and lives will be healed.

Amazing.

easy breezy

seems to be the way I feel right now. Everyone always asks, "How's the senior year going?" and I can't honestly say I know. I mean, yes intuitively everything is good. School is good, life is good and there's nothing to complain about...

But it's too much breezy. So breezy that it's just breezin by.

Way too much breezy.

Day 1

Today, is the start of a new chapter for me. I will try wholeheartedly to put someone else's needs above mine. I'm not going to lie--I have my doubts. But I am hoping down to every tiny molecule in my body that I can do it; that I, through patience, love and the strength from God, can do it.

hello, there. i am currently awake from drinking way too much tea at a time that was most inappropriate. i guess that's just how i like to do things-at the wrong time.

but hey, a wise cat once said: "those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

that doesn't mean i'll take advantage of that or anything. it just means that i am waiting for all three billion gagillion megabytes of my music to be moved before i update itunes and lose them all.

good night.

superstar

you smile that beautiful smile
and all the girls in the front row
scream your name.

so dim that spotlight,
tell me things like
"i can't take my eyes of you."

questions

questions, questions, questions.

eager to ask, but equally scared to hear the answer.

two sides of the same coin: this seems to be the theme of everything these days.

rewind

now heading back to the days when i found the simplest joy in just having the pleasure to spend some time with you.

why? because i love you.