falling behind

I've always had a fear of falling behind; I've always liked to think that we all move together with those that we want to the most. The first lesson of 2010 was swift and clear: this surely is not the case. Instead, we all move at different paces, just like everyone has long said. Everyone I love is moving forward, and I've never been so proud or fortunate to be a part of someone's life like I am right now (multiplied by ten). Emotionally, mentally... all of you are simply amazing.

And I've fallen behind. Emotionally, mentally... everything's been put on a hold all because I've wasted all my time, energy and heart trying to forget something that just isn't worth it. I woke up this morning, thought about how amazing each and one of you are and it's making me realize my mistakes. And I guess this is a weird way of saying that I admire all of you; I aspire to be like you.

"Tell me what company thou keepst, and I'll tell thee what thou art."

I hope you guys run across this one day, and know that I'm damn lucky. <3

we sat underneath the gangly branches

and counted the crystals in the indigo sky

the kind of shade that would fade with wash, right?

you nodded. yes, or so i assumed.

I sat there gazing at your porcelain stance

you, into my bare soul.

The fresh smell of liquid iron burned me inside and out

the open wound bore something that was yearning

but my plastered ribs could not bare the weight

and all that's left now

are those gangly branches that once embraced

faded skies and petals-like crushed nails-

fill the thin air.

And there are no more nods

for me to assume.

No form was left-the organ stolen:

All that was there was dust.

credible commitments.

It's strange how things line up sometimes: it's almost always a coincidence, or at least I would like to think so. I sat in class this morning and listened to a guest speaker talk about an article that he wrote. Needless to say, little man...big ego. I sat there, half-interested in what he had to say about how judiciary powers were drawn out during the drafting of the Constitution, and then he caught my attention with one word: Trust. You can only trust someone if they're credible. At first, we're all the same, we're all equals...we're all peers. But one act, one revolution changes things: it changes the relationship.

"America had thrown itself into a position against the entire world, and it was now asking to be let back in as a different man, and it knew that in this situation, it would have to gain the world's trust. And when you want to gain someone's trust after creating an uproar, you give them one and then some. If you're the world, never settle for less."

I'm thinking, you've created an uproar, and I don't know if I can trust you. I want to let you back into the game; so that we can both benefit from the exchange--so that we can prosper together... but if I give you this one, you're going to have to give me one in return--and then some. That's how this exchange is going to work right now, until I can trust you.

And if you don't like that, then you can go trade with another country.

Because all that I'm really looking for is a credible commitment.